


Soul Meets Body

by Iyatiku



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 06:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5698732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iyatiku/pseuds/Iyatiku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn is something like Poe's guardian angel, and he can't stand the thought of losing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soul Meets Body

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the prompt 'maybe Stormpilot where Poe is watching Finn as he recovers from the fight with Kylo Ren and is all “Buddy! You’re alright!” when he wakes up, then sweet sweet makeouts? Or similar?'

“He’s trouble you know,” someone had once told him, hopped up on something that was liquid and blue, shimmering in the dim light of the room, “I wouldn’t go there if I were you.”

But if Poe was anything he was the person who, despite advice, warning and moral enlightenment, would _most definitely_ go there. He’d once decided to gamble on himself that he could fly any ship in the dock. That’s how he’d know he could fly a tie fighter. He hadn’t flown one before, but he knew he had the nerve to try. Really, it was the same with any skill: having the guts to try everything until you were the best, or you were dead.

“And of course Finn had to have his go with a lightsaber.” He muttered under his breath. Rey dropped her head across the bed from him. Her fingers were laced loosely through Finn’s, and he could see the remorse in her eyes, the guilt. “Hey, this isn’t your fault you know. The guy’s insane. Reckless as anything.” His eyes flicked over to Finn’s face, a smile appearing briefly. He took in the still, soft set of his face and it dropped off his face like his heart into his stomach. He looked away quickly. “Freeing me to fly him out in a tie fighter. What a dumbass.”

“Just like flying solo into an exploding planet sized mega blaster?” Rey countered. Poe looked up at her, but didn’t disagree. A few more minutes passed in silence. He was intent on memorising the lines in the flooring below him, averting the faces of both humans in his company. Finn lay like a cloud next to him, encroaching on his space and his thought no matter how much he tried to block him out.

“Hey do you mind if I step out for a bit?” he said quickly, standing up.

“Of course not. But I’m leaving in a couple of hours.”

“I’ll be back.” He assured her, and turned his back, stepping as quickly as possible out of the medical bay and towards the hangar. People clapped him on the back as he passed, did joyful little jigs at him. Poe tried to smile. He did.

He really did.

“Commander!”

He stopped, for the first time, and turned. There was one voice in this world he never dismissed.

“General?” he asked “what is it? What’s wrong?”

“That says it all doesn’t it” she replied, softer as she approached. The hallway had cleared, leaving them alone. “And if I’m giving you an answer, everything is wrong, but isn’t it always?” she sighed. Poe frowned. “I came to ask if you’d been debriefed. Well, I did send someone, but they couldn’t find you.”

“I was in the med bay. In all the confusion after I…I should have come to command, I’m sorry.” He began, but the general raised a hand.

“We owe you enough to let you off this one. I never got a chance to thank you, with everything…” a shadow passed over her face, and Poe recognised it. He’d seen it before. He didn’t like it.

“Is there,” he started, “is there anything I can do? If you need an extra hand in command I can come right back, just give me a few minutes to eat and change-“

She stopped him again with a movement, this time a hand to his cheek, a thankful gesture, and then she dropped it, and squared off her shoulders “You’ve done enough. And you have your own to look after. Trust me, I wish I was in your position.”

Poe narrowed his eyes, turning his head as the general stepped past him. He opened his mouth to form the words, but consideration stopped him. She hadn’t mentioned Han, hadn’t even faltered, and he admired her for it. What was the word that would push too far?

“General, what-“

“I wish I had a bed to sit next to, a reunion to look forward to. You have it. Go to him Poe.”

He watched her go, until she turned a corner and left him alone. And he felt alone, for the first time. Somewhere between last taking off and landing at Finn’s bedside he’d severed a tie between himself and the outside world.

At some point he found himself in the cockpit of his X-wing, silent, until an incessant beeping interrupted his thoughts, or the lack of them he was trying to create. He felt the hum in the seat around him, until the beeping began spouting right into the ears of his helmet.

“No we’re not going anywhere buddy.” He replied “I just needed a bit of quiet time. What have you been up to?”

He listened without really listening, something about Artoo and messing with Threepio’s charge cycle. “That’s great buddy.”

Then there was a softer sound, an inquiry. “No change. They say he should be waking up any time now. Rey’s with him.”

Some more sad noises, then something a bit more risqué “oh you think do you? This is nothing like the time I was last home then? I don’t know BeeBee. Man’s a damn suicide risk.”

The droid didn’t reply to that, but Poe could hear him messing about without whatever was exposed within his reach. _Don’t mess anything up back there you amateur_ , he almost said, but he didn’t. He wanted to keep talking about Finn. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he had to.

“He was like an angel. I’d been in and out of consciousness so often I actually thought I was dreaming. I thought, oh so that bastard wants to see me again, brace yourself Poe, things might be about to get a touch worse. But then he turned out to be good, and then I really thought I was hallucinating, because when is anybody ever good?”

He took the helmet off his head slowly, muting BB-8 for a moment. “I encouraged him.” He continued, quieter, to himself, “I told him he did a good job. I took him back to Jakku.”

He knew a man. He knew a Stormtrooper. A man. He had named him Finn. He had told him good job. He knew him better than anyone. He had watched him scream, he had watched him betrayed. He had watched him falter. He hadn’t know him them. He didn’t know him now. And yet-

And yet.

His radio crackled “Dameron, you in there?”

Poe swallowed.

* * *

 

“Stay safe. For his sake. He’s gonna be surrounded by strangers now.” He told Rey, gripping her arm.

“I don’t think safe is in the mission itinerary, but I’ll try. Look after him.”

“Of course. He’ll be waiting for you.”

Rey looked back over her shoulder at Finn’s still form. When she turned back, she was smiling “he won’t be waiting for anyone. You’re here, that’s all he needs right now.”

Once again, Poe frowned in confusion. Rey rolled her eyes. “You saved him from a life he despised. He doesn’t wear that jacket because he likes it.”

“Rey-“

“I have to go. Take care of yourself.” She patted his arm and walked away, leaving him just as confused as he had been before the conversation. Subconsciously he caught the attention of someone bustling by. They nodded in reply to his question, and he stepped into the room beyond, sealing the door behind him. His jacket was slung over the back of his seat, singed and torn. Something stopped him from throwing it away, despite the damage. He felt like it held a little piece of him, and a little piece of Finn. It really did suit him.

He felt it again, the presence, like the whole room was filled with Finn. Poe breathed him in, felt him cloud his joints into stiff movement. He took a seat, cautiously sliding his arm along the bed to reach his hand. He held it softly at first, and then cocooned it in both of his own, stroking a thumb gently along the space just underneath his wrist.

The thought struck him that Finn may never have felt that. A caring hand. How had he grown up? Had there been any warmth, any tenderness? He felt like there had to have been, for Finn to be the man he was. With heart he had. It made Poe feel the wasted years of his life when he hadn’t observed the tender moments, hadn’t captured each one for his memory, to be recalled whenever and wherever he needed. He wanted Finn to have that, he wanted Finn to know a caring hand.

“Hey buddy.” He said, pulling his chair a little closer, feeling a little braver “if you can hear me, you can wake up any time now. I know you’re probably in pain but they can sort that out to. We just need to hear from you. So, anytime soon, that would be great.”

He resigned himself to silence, again, but his body repelled it. The room felt cloying without it. Too full of Finn.

“I can tell you some stories if you want? Fill you in on some Resistance history? I don’t know how much they tell you over there at ‘trooper academy. Nothing probably. I’ll start with the General, she has a great story…”

He kept talking, for what felt like hours. The med team even came in to offer him food but he turned them away. He wanted to finish the story. And then there was another to tell, and another.

“And you should see Yavin in the spring. Oh man it’s magical. Underneath the trees it’s like walking through waterfalls of light. And it just opens into these glades and lakes, right underneath the trees. We used to swim in them all the time. We’ll go back there, you and me. And Rey, if…if you want.” He stumbled, voice turning into a croak. “I miss it so much sometimes you know.” He continued, lowering his chin onto his arms at the edge of the bed and closing his eyes. He had unconsciously moved closer over the hours, until, if he leant a little further, he could use the man’s body as a pillow and fall straight to sleep.  

He hadn’t let go of his hand though; he could feel it beneath his head, warm and still. “But I probably shouldn’t speak so much of-o-of home” he said through a yawn “I don’t even know where yours is. If you have one. If you have a family. I know nothing about you.” He let out a muted chuckle “funny isn’t it. I know nothing about you but I know you so well.” He tacked a hum onto the end of his sentence and stopped speaking. Finn’s presence had permeated his skin, tied him limb by limb to the moment. He didn’t notice it anymore, he just felt it. And if he just let himself…

Something was tickling his ear, something warm and dry. He groaned and twitched his face away from it. He wasn’t ready to wake up yet, but he smiled nonetheless “stop it.” He muttered, picturing a grey wall with a small, round window. A big bed that felt crowded, a stand just next to it. If he reached over, he could just about reach a clock to throw at whoever was trying to wake him.

“Poe.”

His breath caught in his throat, dry and tasting like disinfectant. He jerked awake, flinching at the spotlight shining directly into his eyes from the other end of the room. He lurched for the switch, dimming it to an acceptable level for his sensitive eyes. “Finn” he croaked, bending over near his head. “Hey bud.”

He blinked a few times to clear his focus, feeling like he was waking himself from a week long slumber. He could still feel Finn’s hand in his own, clutching a little tighter than he would have expected. “How you feelin’?” he asked, finally seeing him clearly. He looked alert, far more awake than he should. “You were out for days, you must be confused.”

“Ow” was all he said, and laughed. It was nothing like the joyful yelps he’d let loose in that tie fighter, but it was sweeter than anything Poe had ever heard. “You were making my hand go numb. I had to wake you up.”

“Wait, what?” Poe asked, pulling back “how long have you been awake?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Long enough.”

“Well are you in a lot of pain, can I get you anything?” he straightened up, looking around frantically “we should call someone in here.” He felt himself being yanked back to face Finn, and to his surprise the man looked worried.

“God please not yet. They’ll just knock me out again.”

“Finn-“

“Please. Just sit down for a minute.” He said desperately. Poe hesitated, but obeyed, still looking concerned. “Where’s Rey?”

“Gone to find Luke Skywalker. That’s all I know. The General is keeping this one under wraps.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What’s your mission?”

Poe paused, watching Finn carefully. He could lie, pretend that he’d barely been here, caught up in some top secret mission that had taken him off planet until tonight. Could he do that? After opening his mouth, he found he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to him. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t. He refused.

“I…haven’t had one yet. Haven’t even been debriefed for the last one yet.” He shrugged.

“So you’ve just been…here. On base.”

“Yeah. Spent some time with BeeBee. That droid. Thinks we have weeks of catching up to do.” He rolled his eyes and tried to brush it off with a quiet laugh. He could sense that Finn knew the truth, but for some reason he couldn’t let himself admit it. Somehow, he felt like he was speaking to a stranger. Somebody with amnesia. Like telling somebody who knew you, everything about yourself all over again.

It was like Finn had caught Poe, before he had caught Finn.

Which was true, he supposed.

“Poe.” Finn said, pulling his attention back. “Have you been here this whole time?” Poe swallowed and nodded.

“Apart from a few hours, yeah.” He tried a smile, but failed, feeling more embarrassed than proud. “I didn’t want to leave you on your own. You don’t know anyone. I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

“Oh.” Finn whispered. Poe looked down at the ground, and then back up. He shuffled his chair in a little closer, until their faces were level.

“After what happened…on Starkiller. I didn’t want you to feel like, you know, any of it was your fault or anything. I was scared that you’d blame yourself. Like what you told Rey about not wanting to do the First Order’s dirty work. I just didn’t want you to think that you were failing, or that you’d done wrong by leaving.” He paused, losing his thread for a minute. He was shocking himself with his own words as much as he seemed to be surprising Finn. “A lot of people around here walk with this false sense of bravado and pride but you, you’re the real deal Finn. You almost died for Rey, someone you barely know.”

“I guess I just trust people easy.” Finn answered. He’d lost the depth of his voice. He sounded tired now, and in more pain than he had a minute ago. “Probably not such a great trait.”

“It think it’s great. I think it’s more than great.” He sighed, and without really thinking about it, he leant forward and kissed him. Not long, or deep, or powerfully moving, but enough, like for a second he wanted to turn Finn’s presence in the room into _their’s._ He wanted to translate all of the confusion and the guilt and the gratitude into a moment he could speak without words. Without bravado and flair; just a gesture.

“Oh.” Finn breathed, when he pulled back.

Poe blanched, “Good oh or bad oh?”

“Good oh. Really good oh.”

“Oh.” Poe laughed, and leant in again, longer this time, reaching up a hand to brush over Finn’s hair.

Finn pressed back, and then winced, groaning in pain. Poe sat up again, stroking a thumb quickly over Finn’s hairline.

“Alright, I am definitely getting someone in here. Wait here.“ He stood up and went to open the door, but Finn’s hand held him in place “Finn-“

“Thank you.” He croaked, looking up at him. Poe relaxed, squeezing his hand back. “Now please go and get me some painkillers.”

Poe shook his head with a barely repressed smile. “Whatever you say, hotshot.”


End file.
